How odd that someone is predicting the end of the world for May 21st. I say that because on May 21, 2008 our world came to an end. The crushing news that our son John Robert died at age 18, just a few days before high school graduation was almost more than we could bear.
As I reflect on the thought that ‘our world came to an end‘, I realize that this is only partially true. It is true in the sense that our lives will never be the same. The subtext of grief is ever present. For every movie we like, we wonder if John Robert would have liked it. When we admire the young people at church we think that John Robert would have enjoyed being their friend. When we are able to keep up with his friends on Facebook we wonder if John Robert would have posted, had he ever set up a Facebook page. We miss his laughter, we miss his singing, we miss his hugs, we miss his presence. Every day.
We are of the belief that because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead that this is not the end of the story. Not due to perfection (in any of us) but due to the cleansing power of the blood of Christ, we have hope. We believe we will once again be reunited with John Robert. We believe he is currently well cared for, happy, with other loved ones who have passed, and awaiting our reunion.
So we await that time. In the mean time, has our world ended? No, just a part of it. We are blessed with a daughter and grandchildren … parents and siblings … nieces and nephews …. friends and our spiritual family.
And we have our lives. No promises on how long those will be – for humans have a 100% mortality rate. Until my last breath I will miss John Robert. But until my last breath, I want to live, love, serve, and bless those who are still in my life.
John Robert’s death seemed like the end of our world. Truthfully there are times when I still think that. But then there is today – and how shall I use today while I wait for the day when I will see him again? The world rushes onward, and our lives do as well. We carry his memories with us until we will no longer need them because we will be with him forever.
Out here hope remains.