Supposed To Be Here

It was hard to walk back into our Pascagoula home yesterday. After all, it was just a short few months ago that this home was filled with tears, mourners, and shock at the loss of John Robert. I went into his room last night and wept on front of a picture board someone made. He is supposed to be here in my accounting of things. I am staring at the door that he walked through a thousand times from age 4 to18. It only seems right that he should walk through it now. Words like “unfair” and “why him” run through my mind, but they do not change the reality.

Today I had lunch with Al Sturgeon. I have related before that at his suggestion we had lunch every Thursday for several years. Al has been a good friend in more ways than I can say. After John died Al sat beside me silently … a source of strength. He got my cell phone and began to answer the many calls coming in on my behalf. In a moment when I needed him most, he organized and officiated John Robert’s funeral.Though we didn’t say it, today was a ‘goodbye‘ as he heads off to Pepperdine for law school. We both had the experience of a lifetime with Katrina. We’re both leaving the Coast at about the same time. One last long conversation, one last hug, and he and daughter Hillary walked out of our lives and off to California. I expect next time I see him he will be a lawyer. But perhaps providence will bring us together before then.

Tomorrow I’ll head back to Monroe, the new place I’m supposed to be. In a way John Robert will never be there with us…in another way we’ll never be there without him in our hearts.

photo

Al Sturgeon and me.

Thanks for reading,

john

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