“Don’t you know that a midnight hour comes when everyone has to take off his mask? Do you think life always lets itself be trifled with? Do you think you can sneak off a little before midnight to escape this?” ― Søren Kierkegaard
God’s intimate knowledge of us is either frightening or comforting. I suspect that some who regard it as comforting ought to be afraid, and some who regard it as fearsome ought to be comforted. But who can sort out the mess that is the human experience lived out before a perfect and holy God?
King David was not only a capable musician, poet, husband, father, and rescuer, but also an adulterer, liar, and killer. His complex life mirrors our own victories and failures. As he speaks to his son about the throne that would soon be his, David reminds Solomon that there is no wearing masks when it comes to standing before God.
“And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. ~1 Chronicles 28:9
The Lord searches every heart … every desire … every thought …
I can choose to smile when hurt. I can express a noncommittal shrug even when I am offended. I can determine to say a kind word when someone treats me in an unkind way. I can say ‘I’m fine’ when I’m not. These are coping mechanisms we use to smooth out the rough edges of life.
God is looking deeper, though. He is not interested in my social niceties. He’s not impressed when I put on my righteously religious posture, knowing what just went through my mind. He knows the failings everyone can see, and the failings no one can see.
God is so aware of your heart that you can never catch Him by surprise. He won’t take back Grace because he discovers some undetected fault. Find that place in your heart where the mask is securely in place, and realize that He has been there before you ever attempted to hide.
God is interested, and never bored with you. I can never bore God. I might not lead the most exciting life, but my Abba is never bored. He’s searching … noticing … continuing to be aware of my heart. His love for me is so perfect and complete that there is nothing about me that He finds disinteresting.
God understands your desires and thoughts. This is something that sometimes even we cannot claim. I do not understand why some things run though my mind. Things I reject. Things I know are not of God. Things I know will diminish my relationship with Him. Nobody understands me like God.
God is near and you can find Him. He’s not ‘out there somewhere’. God is not at the end of an exhaustive attempt to force a religious experience. He isn’t only found at the feet of some spiritual giant. He’s not waiting for you to pray harder or fast longer … He is right there with you right now…if you are seeking Him.
Maybe we should be bringing this prayer before the Father more often:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. ~Psalm 139:23
Kierkegaard’s midnight hour may come. Whenever the masks are taken away I know that God is already so aware of what is to be found there that He has made arrangements to forgive completely the faults and give new life where there was none.
Search me, God.
Thanks for reading,