Long Day Thursday

Today began about 3:00 a.m. when mom awoke us to say that dad was not doing well. The ambulance came to take him to the hospital. Maggy and I were able to come back to the house to rest for two or three hours, but everyone else was exhausted this evening. My brother and his family came from Texas. My dad is on an enormous amount of pain medication. The doctors have canceled his radiation treatments. Mom is at the hospital tonight.

Losing John Robert this past May was a sudden life-shifting shock. Watching dad weaken as cancer and emphysema take their toll is gradual. We have known since February that this time was coming. Still, is anyone really ever prepared? This may not be the final hospital stay … no one can make that call. Even the doctors are not willing to put a timetable on dad’s life.

At a time like this you wish you had one more month. Or even a few days. But these are among the things we do not get to choose. I sometimes inwardly reflect that our family has had enough this year. Death and cancer and moving away from old friends and new surroundings … am I leaving anything out? So, God, anytime you want to step in here just feel free.

Or perhaps He already has. Two thousand years ago. And yesterday, in ways I do not know. I keep coming back to the basic truth that I did not become a Christian to ensure smooth sailing. I haven’t read of anyone in the Bible who avoided tragedy and hardship. Actually faith is FOR the times when the bottom drops out and one has to decide whether to stay with God or find something else. I haven’t seen anything to compare with the empty tomb. I believe. Sometimes that’s all I can do.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFJuvXIx6ic]

Building429, I Believe

Walk blindly to the light and reach out for His hand
Don’t ask any questions and don’t try to understand
Open up your mind and then open up your heart
You will see that you and me and very far apart

‘Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe love will find a way

Violence has spread worldwide and there’s families on the streets
We sell drugs to children now, well why can’t we just see
That all we do is eliminate our future with the things we do today
Money is our incentive now so that makes it ok

Walk blindly to the light and reach out for His hand
Don’t ask any questions and don’t try to understand

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