Is Your leading and guiding taking me through the most treacherous place my heart has ever been? Do You have to drag me through the hell of suffering in order to get me to the calm and quiet? Is Your ability somehow limited in some way that I do not know? What else will You allow me to suffer along this journey? Didn’t You know that this crushing loss would be more fierce to me than the most ravenous wolf? Wasn’t there another way? And weren’t You my son’s Shepherd too? While I am confident that he is now resting near quiet waters where we all long to be, I am left behind with questions and pain.