Big Poppa’s Rules For Lawn Care

We had an awesome weekend with DISCOVER 09! I thought everything was great. Watershed amazes me with their ability to offer a quality vocal sound even though they do not sing together regularly any more. Patrick Mead and Dusty Rush never let you down. Jason Barnard did a magnificent job of assembling a team of excellent workers and getting it all organized. Every person brought a necessary item to the event and made it a great weekend.

Along with other regions of the country, we have had three weeks of rain every day. This weekend, however, the weather was perfect. I was about to just put a scarecrow in my yard and not worry about mowing it. I thought a billy goat or a bush hog would be needed. But since we didn’t have an assembly tonight, I figured I better get the yard mowed. Sometimes while mowing I contemplate my rules for mowing. I know that mowing season is basically over, but you may need a few months to ruminate over these rules and begin to implement them slowly into your own routine.


1. Never mow your yard until all of your neighbors have. As long as your neighbor’s yard is looking rugged, why should you mow? You’ll only make them look bad. Go ahead and be the servant … the last shall be first … allow your neighbors to shine a bit. Be the last on your block to mow your yard.

2. Always let your clippings be mulch for your lawn. What is it with people who are bagging up all these grass clippings in plastic bags that go to landfills and stay until long after you’re gone? Let those clippings fly across the lawn in freedom. So they might clump up a bit and reveal that you can’t mow in a straight line. Who cares? Your neighbors will be glad you finally mowed (see #1). Plus after the first rain all of those clippings will disappear into the yard, offering your lawn nutritious mulch so it can grow better.

3. When your mower won’t start, buy a new one. Buy a cheap one though, because this rule can get expensive if you have John Deere tastes on a Freds Dollar Store budget.

4. It is OK to run over a stick. Don’t spend all your time picking up sticks. That is a waste of energy. Since you’re not bagging your clippings, you need to run over sticks so that they can knock off all the clumps of wet grass building up underneath your mower.

5. Do not run over whole newspapers that have piled up in your yard. (Please don’t tell me you go get your paper every day???) But if you see a cup or a piece of paper, go ahead and mow over it. The birds can use it to line their nests. Be earth friendly.

6. If you are mowing along the road and a vehicle approaches, stop and let the vehicle pass. Otherwise go ahead and point your mower so that all the clippings go out into the street. Your yard can only use so many clippings. Plus, the wind will blow the clippings away soon and no one will even know.

7. You should mow over the non-growing sections of your yard. It stirs the top layer of dirt and dust, which has to be good. And usually there’s a lone strand of grass or two. If you mow those, they will be sure to multiply and cover up that area before long.

8. Occasionally hire someone else to mow your yard. Hey… do your part to help the economy.

9. Never overcome an excellent excuse to put off mowing the grass. Be thankful for life’s small gifts. It might rain. I’ll have to shower twice. It’s too hot. The mosquitoes are too bad. I don’t have gas. My neighbors haven’t mowed their yard. Use them all.

10. Never mow when you have company coming. They might offer to do it!

There you are folks! Hang on to those until the Spring. You’ll thank me!


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