by Josh Linton
You pray. Like a nervous, first-time father you pray.
And you pray some more, compiling hours pondering, questioning, seeking God’s direction as your mind floods with a multitude of probable answers. You honestly feel that God is pulling you in four directions at once. You’ve talked to others about it and can’t find any consensus. What do you do when you can’t find clarity about the way you need to go in life or about the choices you need to make?
If one wants to live corresponding to reality and beyond a world of ideals then she needs to finally accept that life decisions often reach a level of complication too difficult to unravel. When every scenario seems to reveal God’s favor and every one of your friends sees the kingdom at work in whatever you decide, life’s potential adventures backlash into a nasty web of maybe. It’s back to pulling out hair, calling on angels.
At this complicated mix-master of indecision I suggest moving forward by doing what you want. What decision puts your desires most at ease? I understand that this advice sounds very self-oriented, but what are you supposed to do? You can’t stay frozen in indecision, biting your nails, wondering when God will show up with a Powerpoint presentation bulleting the steps to the rest of your life.
God’s kingdom is breaking in everywhere and will ultimately reconcile and encompass each inch of existence. Fueled by this reality you can move in the direction that suits your gifts, abilities and ambitions knowing that God gazes with interest at and provides his grace for every possible moment ahead of you. When things aren’t as clear as Acts 16, just go. You can’t possibly venture into an area of your potential future that catches God off-guard, surprising him as if he never considered that possibility. Just maybe the unquenchable lust for God’s will isn’t about finding God at all.
Perhaps the life-halting intensity to discern his will is simply another mechanism used to earn his favor. We like the right answers, don’t we? The conditioned intuition that right answers equal good grades becomes our guiding motivation. But this can become a futile exercise in trying to correctly guess God’s next move for the reward of an A+ situation. Maybe we need to consider that the confusing silence is a way of letting us know we need to trust God wherever we find ourselves, no matter where that may be. As long as we keep seeking him we may never see him…right there, next to us.
Trust God’s present presence. Knowing him in the now will illuminate his reality for a then. He empowers and consumes every possible situation and potential circumstance. Believing in his infinite reach and unlimited adaptability will free us to move on, wherever that may lead.