October 23

October 23 would have been John Robert’s 19th birthday. It’s hard to express anything about that. And if we do not know what to say about it, then I understand how everyone else struggles. We have had many expressions of prayer today… an in-between day. Yesterday (21st) is the five month anniversary of John Robert’s death … tomorrow is his birthday. We received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from a friend. Cards have arrived in the mailbox and on my desk. Emails expressing love and compassion have found their way to my inbox. All of these expressions are from hearts full of wanting to love but words do not seem to capture the feeling.

The thought I’ve had today is that John Robert will probably have the best birthday party ever. We’re the ones who are missing out. Tonight my friend Sol was sharing a verse he was reading in Philippians 1:

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far…

He shared with me his thought that John Robert was experiencing great joy … better by far. That’s a great thought for us today. Even in our own pain of missing him in so many ways, we are confident he is with Christ. This is my only comfort, my only hope.

I wanted you to read what John Robert wrote one day when he blogged for me. I had endured carpal tunnel syndrome surgery and could not type. Here’s what he wrote:

This is John’s son John Robert typing for daddy-o while his hand is in disarray. He wishes for me to inform you all that the surgery is over and everything went as well as it could. I suppose he will use me for his typing now so that one day I can suffer the same illness as he. Dad will now be off to take pain medication and sleep as much as possible while milking his situation.

That is so much like him… full of humor and sharp as can be.

We appreciate your care for us. Thank you for reading.

Blessings to you.

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