John Robert … Claire is in the background.
John Robert Dobbs was born on October 23, 1989. He was born a bit early and spent the first few weeks of his life in an infant ICU. Though he was less than 5 lbs at birth, he quickly caught up! John lived in Mississippi all his life. We lived in Kosciusko, Mississippi when he was born. For a few years after that we lived in Cleveland, Mississippi. When he was three we moved to Pascagoula, Mississippi.
John Robert was a brilliant little boy and often came up with the funniest things to say. I wish I had written them all down so I could read them now. He never went to daycare, mom took care of him and raised him until he went off to kindergarten at Cherokee Elementary School. His elementary years were spent at Beach Elementary School, where he made lifelong friends … many of which he completed school with. The picture above is a school field trip to Audubon Zoo. John, Jordan, Donovan, and Patrick were inseparable. It was at Donovan’s house where John Robert broke his arm one October. John spent as much time at Jordan’s house as he did ours. Patrick and John went to a thousand movies together, along with other friends. At Beach Elementary School Principle Shirley Hunter called more than once with stories about John Robert. Once John Robert came to her office and confessed to drinking the water draining out of the air conditioner, and he wondered if he would be OK! Another time he reported eating a rock, just to make sure it would not make him sick. Shirley’s husband is a police Captain. He is the officer who stood in front of our house in the early morning darkness of May 21st, to tell us that John Robert was gone.
John Robert went to Middle School at Trent Lott Middle School. During his years there he was active in the chorus. It was also during this time that John Robert and some others recruited lots of friends to attend Central Church of Christ. A Wednesday night teen worship time developed called “The Gathering”. At this time John Robert grew tremendously in spirit … and in his ability to lead worship. Many of his friends were immersed into Jesus Christ, including A.J., who became an important part of John’s life. Of course he had many friends and I couldn’t start to name them all.
John Robert and A.J. in Chorus at Trent Lott Middle School
John did have a special friend in Lanni Harris. John and Lanni grew up together and it seemed natural for them to be more than just friends. On his last visit to Pigeon Forge with us, Lanni came along. They spent a lot of time together. Lanni is no longer a “Harris”. She is married and has two beautiful babies. We still love Lanni and pray for her to continue to have a great life.
John Robert and Lanni on Prom Night
As John Robert moved to Pascagoula High School he chose not to remain in chorus. He did, however, begin leading worship at Central Church of Christ more and more. Like all teenagers, John Robert wanted to spend most of his time with his friends. We were always thankful he had good friends and that they enjoyed spending so much time together. He started working at Burnham Drugstore in Moss Point during the summer after his Sophomore year. He did whatever they needed him to do, and he liked working there. He enjoyed the people he worked with. Over the past few years we have received a card from them expressing their sympathy and that they miss him too.
John Robert leading singing at Central Church of Christ
In September 2005 John Robert matured quickly as our family dealt with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Our home had almost 4 feet of floodwater in it. When we started tearing out walls and such, John Robert put on a pair of work gloves and acted like he had done it his whole life. For days we worked without electricity, eating government provided MREs … and in the sweltering heat and disgusting mold and mildew and debris … I never once heard John Robert complain. He worked hard in the restoration of our home. I was very proud of him.
Gary Boswell, Tommy Dublin, and John Robert Doing Katrina Relief
John Robert assisted by Craig Hicks!
In January 2008, I decided to move to Monroe, Louisiana, to become the preaching minister for the Forsythe Avenue Church of Christ. John Robert had no intention of moving from the Mississippi Coast and began making plans with friends for living quarters, school, etc. I began commuting in February and for the next few months did not see John as much, although we talked on the phone nearly every day. As graduation approached I was at home on the Coast more … and looking forward to that significant milestone.
John Robert, Joel Jordan, A. J. Olivares
On May 21, 2008, John Robert went to work. He came home and made a phone call to his mother. We were watching a movie at the theater. It was just a few days before graduation. After cleaning up, he went to a friend’s house. The details from there are sketchy to me. The only time we heard John Robert’s voice from that time on was when we continued to call his cell phone, and hearing his voicemail greeting. When he did not call or return home, we drove to the places we thought he might be. About 5:00 a.m. Captain Hunter knocked on our door. Our old lives were over, and we were given a new life … one without John Robert. A dark journey had begun.
John Robert’s place at Pascagoula High School Graduation
The next few days are a blur to me. There were visits, food, family, friends, phone calls, a funeral … a great funeral. John Robert would have loved his funeral. So many friends spoke on his behalf. Three of his friends from school played some songs on instruments. Most of the people who had great influence in his life were there to speak on his behalf. I am afraid to name them, for fear of leaving someone out. Calvary Baptist Church offered their facilities, for which we were so grateful. The church was full of people young and old. John Robert actually went to some Vacation Bible Schools there when he was a child. Both sets of John Robert’s grandparents were present, which because of poor health was very difficult on all of them. His paternal grandfather passed away just six months later.
John Robert’s marker at Lehrton Cemetery in Ruleville, MS
John Robert’s remains were laid to rest in Lehrton Cemetery, Ruleville, Mississippi. This is the town where his mother’s parents and family live. It was a gloomy day with rain pouring down out of the sky. Family and friends gathered, some from Monroe, where we had just moved. Longtime friend Tim McCarter, minister for a Church of Christ in Cleveland, MS spoke words of comfort. On the first anniversary of his death, several family members gathered at his grave and Tim once again had some kind things to say.
One Group of Campers at GCBC!
There are things that I did not share about John Robert here. One was his love for Gulf Coast Bible Camp. He started going to camp before he was old enough to be there. He seldom missed a camp week, retreat, or event if he could help it. It was at camp where John made the decision to be baptized into Jesus. I had the privilege of assisting in his second birth.
Amanda, Britney, JR, Ben, and Will
John Robert loved doing things with the youth group like going to Youth In Action or taking a trip to the Ocoee River (where he was once bitten by a tick and had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever). He enjoyed so much going to concerts, movies, staying up late talking, and other things with his youth group friends.
And John loved his family. His sister Nicole was more than a sister, she was his friend. They grew especially close over the last few years. Nicole and daughter, Claire, lived with us for nine years. Claire was more like a little sister to John than a niece. John lived to see Nicole marry Robert, and to enjoy playing with newborn Blake. These, along with all of his extended family, love and miss him so much.
Robert, Nicole, JR, Raychel
John Robert was not an angel. He trusted in Christ to save him, and that is what we all must do. But John Robert was a young man with a wonderful heart. I believe he would have helped anyone with anything they needed.
John Robert singing Beautiful One. Gary Boswell playing the music, Will Collins singing backup vocals.
Thanks for Reading this page. Feel free to leave any comments our thoughts about John Robert … or to John Robert.
I am so sorry. I cannot imagine the agony of having a child wrested away so suddenly. Our daughter Heidi died when she was 26. It was not expected — she had been doing well. But she had been ill many years.
Listening to your son sing Beautiful One was heart wrenching and heart settling all wrapped in one.
If you have the inclination, stop by my site. It is:
Take It for What It’s Worth
It is still a work in progress, but I would be honored if you were able to leave a comment. The middle section is about Heidi.
His peace to you today,
Pat Kashtock
Pat, thanks for sharing your loss with so many. What a beautiful site you have created in honor of a beautiful life. Thanks for sharing that site. I encourage anyone reading to make sure to stop by Pat’s site and leave a comment. God bless you Pat.
John
John,
Thank you for sharing the story of your son. We may never know why our children were deprived of more life here and now with us. What we do know is that life does not end in death, for hope remains.
I am so thankful for the faithful servant of Jesus your son grew up to be. He now lives in the presence of God through the resurrected Jesus Christ – what we hope for when our life in this world passes.
Remembering both John Robert Dobbs and Kenneth James Butts!
WIth hope,
Rex
Rex, even as you comfort me with beautiful truths, let me return them to you. I’m so sorry you also had to experience this pain. You are a great servant of God and I pray your ministry will thrive in His Spirit. God bless you as your heart yearns to see your son yet again. We shall. John
JD, I enjoyed going through and reading (and watching) things about John Robert. I have no doubt that you still miss him terribly.
I still pray for you and Maggie. Trey
Trey, thanks so much for your many expressions of love and prayers. You have a beautiful family. Thanks for caring. John
John
Again reading about JR brings tears to my eyes. I watched him grow up and mature into a wonderful young man. I loved him as I did all the kids at Central. I enjoyed seeing him at camp each year that I cooked and helped out. My favorite camp story was, last day one year. Maggy came to get him and we were standing there talking when he walked up and he told his mama he liked my spaghetti better then hers. We looked at each other and smiled. Not sure I really believed it but loved hearing it. I was there that evening of his 2nd birth.
Love and miss you all.
Viv
Thank you Vivian for the great memories. I know John Robert loved you and we appreciate the many notes you have left indicating your love and prayers over this past year. It means so much. John
We both enjoyed reading this tonight… He was such a delight to be around. We both loved him so much..
All our love, Johnny and Carol
Thank you Johnny and Carol. John Robert certainly loved you both with his whole heart. I’m so happy he had wonderful aunts and uncles to love, as well as the rest of the extended family. John
I love you Mr. John and I’m always here if you ever need anything.
Thank you Jordan. John Robert and you were more than friends, you were brothers. David and Jonathan (in the Old Testament) had a friendship like that. I’m so glad that he had such a good friend. We love you and hope you’ll stay in touch. John
John,
I do not know you–nor did I know your son–but I know people who love and appreciate you, and I have a son of my own. I cannot imagine the “new normal” that you and John Robert’s mother are having to build, but I appreciate your candor and openness with the pain of loss and the hope of heaven.
Thank you Roxanne. I hope that by sharing our hearts we can give some measure of hope and comfort to others who have endured the same nightmare. The hope of heaven… indeed. John
Hi Pastor John,
I met you on Twitter. (Yogi Yogi Berra Quotes)
I read about John Robert and was moved.
Moved in a couple of ways. One, what a wonderful life your Son lived that left so many wonderful memories for you and his mother 2) that I could not write anything like that about my son. Not because I couldn’t do something like that, but that there is nothing good to tell about my son past the age of about 12 or 13. He was a cute little boy, spoiled by his mother and grew up completely out of the will of the fathers. Our Heavenly Father and his Earthly Father, me.
From being a lazy kid, to dropping out of high school, to using drugs, to living a loser’s life outside of the will of God… my point here is to say, that if he died today and I wanted to write something like you were able to write for John Robert, it would be all fiction. There is not one thing that my son has ever done for me to be proud of with the exception of lucking into a social studies award back in elementary school.
So, I guess the point is that you could write such a lovely tribute to you son and while there is no taking away the hurt and sense of missing someone you love, at least you were so blessed to have had the memories that you have of him. I could not do the same thing, if my son died today. And it sorrows me to feel the way that I do and have suffered with anger and rage somewhat as to how he has negatively affected my life and his. I can forgive all that my son has done to me, but Pastor John, I have trouble forgiving him at the time he is continues to stick me in the back. But, I didn’t write you to get into all of that. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am about loosing John Robert and at the same time how blessed you are to have so many wonderful memories.
David, I do not know the hurt you have endured. I will pray for your son and I encourage you to never cease praying for him. God has a way of moving wrong things toward the right. But thank you for your compassionate comments. Let’s get together sometime for coffee. john
I am so impressed by your son. I know you miss him dearly, but at least you know he served the Lord while he was on earth. I, too, am like David. My son is 18, and has gone completely wild. He has a mental illness, but is refusing meds and help. I cringe every day that something might happen to him.
Be proud that you can feel the confidence in your son’s salvation. It is worth more than anything else. I didn’t know him, but he seems like he was a wonderful young man. My Tommy also attended Gulf Coast Bible Camp. I was cook there one summer. Maybe if I had kept him more involved, he would be different now. Please pray for him.
Evelyn
Thanks for writing, Evelyn. Two things I know. (1) You can never give up – pray always for your son. (2) You can never go back and relive or correct the past. I bet you were a great mom. Our children make choices we do not enjoy, but we try to love them through their self-imposed hardships. You keep looking up sister.
I love you and Maggie and continue to hurt for you every single day. John Robert had a very special place in my heart because he was so precious. He loved the elderly and kids and made time for them. That is rare in a teen. There was soooo many things about John that I loved. I loved having him around. I have lots of good memories with him. He was funny and talented and just the cutest little thing. I miss him terribly. I miss all of you. John was never afraid to say how much he loved his mama and daddy and brag about how close he was to you. That is rare in a teen too. What a great job yall did! Thank you for sharing him with all of us. He made all of us feel special just like you do.
Wynona, has there ever been a better friend to the Dobbs family? Some may be equal, but none better. We all love you – as did John Robert. I believe he loved Lanni with all of his heart. We miss him like crazy … but all we can do now is go to him. Maggy and I love you and your family very much.
This is the first time I’ve read this documentary to your beloved son,John.Upon reading it, I find myself crying again the same way I did the first time I heard he was gone.Thank you again for sharing these beautiful memories.
I’ve always loved and cherished my son more than anything since he was a miracle baby and we had waited so many years to have him, but upon the death of your precious boy, I find that I appreciate my Aaron even more. The day may come that I go through what you have. I pray that day never comes.
God took home a winner far too soon. :’-(
Thanks Cecelia. I pray you never know the pain we have endured. Aaron is blessed to have a mom who loves him so much. Appreciating and loving him each day is a blessing from God.
John,
I can’t imagine how you get through the days, the months and the years you must live after your child dies.
I can’t imagine how hard your heart must hurt. And I can’t imagine how you continue seeing light in the very dark place the world must be without your precious boy. But I know you are blessing so many of us fellow journeymen with your uncommon courage and faith. You astound me and so many privilege to know you by your astounding love for God and for others. You are generous beyond explanation. You have been wise through the toughest of life’s experiences. And you are humorous- and humble in your endurance. All of this serves to honor the Father of us all . And to equip all of us with more courage. Life is tough. And it will be for all of us at some time, if we haven’t yet known that. As ugly as life could have been after losing your dear John Robert, you have found the beauty to remember. Thank you for sharing so bravely your journey of preserving the love, goodness and truth that Jesus made possible for all of us. John, even through the darkest of places, the desperation, and in the lowest of life’s days, you have shown uncommon and honorable courage. God surely is saying “well done, my good and faithful servant” and is reserving your place with your boy in a home where one day you will never, ever have to part. May God bless you and continue to do the good work in you that He began. You are truly an inspiration to me.
Blessings,
Joneal
Thank you Joneal for your powerful encouragement here. I appreciate not only what you have expressed for me and Maggy, but also for the way you help so many people in your life. God bless you richly.
Thinking of you both. Hearing John Roberts’ voice makes me so happy. I would give just about anything to hear Daddys’. Okay, maybe not him singing, but just kidding around or something. Love you both, Charlene
Thanks Charlene…we love you too.
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Bill and I have been thinking often about you, Margaret and John Robert all week. I don’t have to tell you what a great young man he was – you know better than anyone. But just know that we loved him and thought so much of him and we will remember him the rest of our lives. He will be remembered by so so many for years to come. His life, as short as it was, counted, and he will be in our hearts until we meet again with the Father. God bless you with peace and comfort, Love, Sabrina
You guys had such a giant impact on John Robert’s life. He loved your whole family. I am so thankful you were a part of his life. Thanks for your precious words.
Hearing his voice makes me want to reach out and hug him; that being impossible, it is John Robert who reaches out and hugs me. Still so surreal. Love and praying for all, Laura
Surreal is a good word. Love you.
john…
i only know you from twitter (at first) and your blog… i had no idea about your son until tonight’s blog post “A Week of Loss, A Week of Love.” i’m sure the emotions, while still painful, are a lot different from last may 21, but i want you to know i’ll be praying for you and your family, my brother.
Thanks Dean… looking forward to meeting you in person. God bless.
I read your article about reading THE SHACK. We lost a son on July 4, 1971 by drowning at the Lake Of the Ozarks. He was 17, would have been 18, 8/21/1971. It devastated us.A friend recommended THE SHACK to me and while I was reading it my other son called and told me I should read it. I recommend it to anyone who has lost a child. I have struggled with grief over the years and it made me look at his death differently. I was so sorry to hear of your son’s death. We know both our sons were christians, but, we still feel the loss and will never forget them. Our son was our first child. He was to enter FHC in Aug. 1971.I will pray for you and your family. When someone says to you: I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, NO, THEY DON’T UNLESS THEY HAVE LOST A CHILD.
Thank you Edna… you really do know how we feel. I wish no one would ever have to feel this way again. But they will…and they do. God bless you for reaching out over the internet…and I’m sure to those around you in the same pain. Glad you liked the review of THE SHACK. I found it to be healing.
John-
You probably won’t remember me. I brought a group to Pascagoula in the summer of 2007 from Snellville Christian Church in Snellville, GA. Our church just got back from a work trip to New Orleans yesterday. While I was talking to Fred Franke of Operation Nehemiah there, he told me that you had lost your son last year. I am so sorry to hear that. Please know that your family is in our thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine the pain that your family must be going through still.
Sincerely,
Chris McClure
Chris, I certainly do remember you. Glad you got to work with Fred. I appreciate your words and prayers. Keep on praying.
A Beautiful Life!!..and a Beautiful Family!!
Trent Tanaro
Thank you Trent, you have been a source of encouragement … hope we get to meet one day.
Just stopped by again. My son turned 21 this year. I can’t imagine what you went through or what you continue to go through. Was just thinking about you and John Robert today for some reason. I’ll say a prayer.
Don, thank you so much for your prayers…and thoughts. It means a lot to know that our pain is not forgotten. God bless you.
I taught John Robert music at Beach and always enjoyed his wry wit. We had lots of good times. I know that he is resting in the arms of our Saviour.
I will never forget him, and it just does not seem possible that he is gone so soon.
Kevin D. Benefield
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Dear John,
I stumbled upon your weblog because of a tweet you made earlier today. At first I read “Christmas without” and it struck me. Then I went on to read some more and when I finished reading all about your son, I realized once more that my prayers for guidance were heard. Thank you for being what I would call a wounded healer. You and your son are one through the acceptance of Jesus as our saviour, he who shows us through is death and ressurection what real life is. Thank you for showing me.
Thank you, may peace be with you, your family and friends during Christmas.
Remco
John, I so appreciate you and your ministry. You are in a unique place, one that will allow you to touch the lives of men and women who have suffered through what you and your wife have been through. In fact, I’d very much like for you to pass on to her that she is in my prayers still.
We shared a sister who came through there to assist in the clean-up and then I met her as she traveled through Cherokee, NC on her way home. As I recall, she was terminally ill and has since gone home in a greater sense.
Your mention of Pigeon Forge and Ocoee makes me wish to remind you that if you are in that area in the future, let me know… I preach at the church on the Cherokee reservation just over the mountain from Pigeon Forge.
Looking forward to the coming Mayberry season… Ernest T sends best wishes!
Jimbo
John:
Ever so often I visit this site, to see what you and Margaret are up to and to listen to John Robert sign. Seeing someone mention The Shack — we saw the book at Jim & Jackie’s after dinner one day. Jim gave it to Jack to read. He told me some about the book and one afternoon I heard him crying – there in the middle of the book was a picture of John Robert – Jamie had used it as a bookmarker. He touched so many people then and even now.
We love and miss you both.
lkn
Thank you Linda and Jack. John Robert loved you guys and the special attention you showed him. We miss him every day and always will. The Shack was a blessing to my heart and reminded me of some things I needed to remember. It’s not the Bible, nor a perfect expression of truth, but quite a blessing to me all the same. God bless you. jd
I think of John all the time.I miss him and I know Jordan misses him deeply.I love the website it brought back so many good memories.I also think about you guys alot and both of you and your family are always in my prayers.I hope things are going well. Pam DuPre
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Have thought about you two today…I know how painful these anniversaries can be. Know that your “forever family” is here for you, today, and every day. We love you lots and continue to lift you up in prayer.
John, I am so very sorry. I know it has been many years since we moved from Pascagoula and I have memories of the cute little boy that I always thought looked like his Dad. I am speechless. And I can’t even begin to find the words. Love you both in Christ. May GOD continue to give you both strength.
Thank you Joy … I appreciate your compassion and appreciate you.
What a beautiful voice he had! Wow. I am so sorry that he’s gone and can only imagine the hurt. You must have been proud parents watching him grow up seeing all the awesome pictures of memorable occasions. God has obviously given you strength and grace in this devastating loss. Praying for you both my brother and sister in Christ.
Thank you so much Jennifer. I feel blessed that you took time to read about our son. We miss him so much… but He is in good hands now. He loved to sing…so that is why we had that inscribed on his memorial stone… singing a new song. Bless you.
Again……. just stopped by to revisit your boy’s life and to let you know that as a father with a ‘son’ I said a prayer for you today.
Don, that truly blesses my heart… it is just what a bereaved parent wants/needs to hear. Thank you.
Mr. John I have missed you and Mrs. Margret I love you guys. I am in a night class tonight it is my first day at the university of south alabama. I am heading towards the end of my college career and it has been a difficult journey. It is hard to imagine four years have gone by and time is not slowing down. I often think of your boy who was closer to me then anyone else. I love John as a brother and friend he was honest and compassionate to the needs of others. He taught me how to respect people’s opinions and stand behind what I believe. John showed me courage in himself I have rarely seen in my other peers. He would have been great at whatever he was interested in doing. When we visited the JC campus together for orientation he was interested in being a nurse specializing in radiology (guess thats spelled right). I imagine him finishing before me because he was truely gifted. I miss him day to day as I walk through life and it is difficult because he was a person I looked up to and learned from. I was reading this page tonight as I occasionally do when I want walk down memory lane. I wanted you to know the son you raised was becoming an amazing man as we grew up he led the way.
Jordan
Jordan, we love you. We always have. You can’t know how much it means to hear your thoughts about John Robert. It is such a blessing to us. We are proud of you for getting to this point in your college career and hope that this will be a great year for you. There isn’t a day when we do not think about John Robert and quite naturally you are attached to those thoughts. Thanks for your great friendship to him. In such a way he lives on through all of us … and ultimately we believe we will see him again. Thanks again for opening your heart here…it has touched ours.