Although the merchandisers were ready for the holidays a month or two ago, the rest of us are now entering into the season officially. I’ve been reading about those who have already had Thanksgiving dinners. I suppose those were previews of that feast which was yet to come. The movie theaters are full of New Mooners and weepy blindsided footballers and end of the worlders. Many are hitting the road tomorrow to get to destinations where there will be food, family, friends, and more food.
We are all aware of the darkness that comes with the holidays for many. The empty chair, the missing laugh, the hugs from everyone except that one. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to think about that. I don’t want to cry any more tears. I do not want to be sad. I do not want to mourn and grieve. But that is not my choice. Losing my son and my dad in the same year was a significant turning point. I really cannot ignore that they are not here with us. I certainly do not want to forget them. I can’t.
After reading much theological reflection on death, dying, grief, and sorrow … my only conclusion is that I don’t know. Ask me most any question that comes to mind about death and justice and the unfairness of life and I don’t know. After analyzing my thoughts and trying to comprehend the various offerings from Calvinists and Armenians and Whoknowswhattheyareians, I don’t know. How do we live without our loved ones? I don’t know. How do we go on laughing and enjoying ourselves while that hurting place still reminds us of what we’ve lost? I don’t know. How do we go on loving while at the same time being afraid of losing someone else? I don’t know.
I’m not asking anyone to tell me. I’ve decided that this is what Faith is for. Faith is not for what we know. Faith does not result in answers and solutions.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. (Hebrews 12:1-2)
I always have skipped over verse 2 in a hurry to get to the great stories of faith. But I need that tidbit of information. THIS is what the ancients were commended for. They didn’t know. Can you imagine the conversations on the hillsides? When the stars were shining brightly in the expanse of the night sky … and in existential wonder simple men and women of great faith asked questions of the ages. The answers to which, the Bible says, they didn’t know.
They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. (Hebrews 12:13)
Faith is not totally blind, but even if it were nearly blind … the ancients were commended for it. Do we know more? Way more. But you know, at the end of the day everything I know is outweighed by what I don’t know.
Two songs encourage me tonight. Matt Redman’s You Never Let Go, and Hillsong United’s Mighty To Save. He never lets go, and He is mighty to save. When I know those two things, the things I don’t know can wait.
And if these reflections seem to be repetitive of things I’ve already written, all I can say is that when I think about these things I end up in the same places. And I choose to share that with you. Thank you for reading and commenting. It means a lot.
Have a great Thanksgiving. I plan to count my blessings.
John
johndobbs
Thank you, thank you. I was thinking about this earlier today. I was saying to myself..”here we go” into the season again. Yeah, I will have a great time with family over the next few days. But as you mentioned there wil be a shadow. My Jesus will carry me through it, His Spirit has me in His hands. Thats what I must remind myself of as we begin this season of holidays and celebration.
Thanks Bro for the post.
Trent Tanaro
24 Nov 09 at 11:54 pm
John, I was thinking of you earlier tonight and about the holiday season. I love you so much. Give Cousin Maggie a hug for me!
Les
Les Ferguson, Jr.
24 Nov 09 at 11:57 pm
Well said, John.
Jim Hughes
25 Nov 09 at 12:08 am
A great post Son. I am thinking of Harold and John Robert as Thanksgiving comes. Love to you and Maggy.
Mom
25 Nov 09 at 12:17 am
I love you, John. Great thoughts-thank you for being so transparent with us through this difficult journey. It is a privilege to walk along with you. Praying for peace, joy, laughter, amidst the remembering & hurting during this holiday season.
Faith is definitely quite a journey, and I have learned that it IS perfectly OK to not understand everything and to ask questions. I am just thankful God is at the helm and knows it all!!
Love you, sweet friend-may you be reminded of His great love…
Thankful for you!! :)
Katherine
25 Nov 09 at 1:25 am
John:
We may not have the “why,” but we do know the “who.” May he give you and your family the same strength and comfort that he showered upon those the eleventh chapter of Hebrews speaks of.
Ray Hawk
25 Nov 09 at 9:09 am
John,
Praying for you, Maggy, Pamala and the others in your family this holiday season. I also know the are many more others out there with unanswered questions. Praise God that HE loves us enough through the unanswered questions to keep on hugging us and letting us ask those questions. That is terrific! I am glad to have a friend like you to being those questions out in the open so many can share their concerns.
I will continue to pray for your family’s healing and also know that you have lots of things to be thankful for. I am thankful to have such great Christian friends!!!!
Love,
Linda
Linda Green
25 Nov 09 at 9:21 am
I’m with you, John. I’m still willing to say I don’t know. Maybe it’s the beginning of humility. Maybe God just wants us to be able to say that and add, “… but I trust Him.”
Keith Brenton
25 Nov 09 at 10:31 am
Wonderful post John. The holidays are always bittersweet. May we seek peace and comfort in Jesus and not be afraid to admit that we don’t know everything :)
paula
25 Nov 09 at 10:51 am
Thanks John for your openness about some important relationships in your life. The holidays are always a time of mixed emotions. It is wonderful to know that God cares for us. I am thinking and praying for you, Maggy and your family. Someday!
Eddie Lewis
25 Nov 09 at 11:00 am
John, tonight at devotional I met James Beard, who made your acquaintance at the Calhoun LA prayer workshop. We agreed that we are both grateful to God to know you even just a little, brother.
Keith Brenton
25 Nov 09 at 8:38 pm
John, keeping on sharing your heart. You bless us with your honesty and insights.
Wendy
25 Nov 09 at 8:55 pm
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John Dobbs
28 Nov 09 at 6:05 pm